


of nightmares and insecurities

by thewickling (Diviana)



Category: S.C.I.谜案集 | S.C.I. Mystery (TV)
Genre: Dreams and Nightmares, M/M, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-04
Updated: 2019-01-04
Packaged: 2019-10-04 10:28:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17302967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Diviana/pseuds/thewickling
Summary: Bai Yutong has a dream that makes him uneasy.





	of nightmares and insecurities

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the prompt:
>
>> "I had a nightmare about you and I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”
> 
>   
> #ficcountup day04 

Surrounded by emptiness, a blank expanse stretched across nearly all of existence. All Bai Yutong could see was white. Except for Bai Yutong, anything else lacked form. He stood not on a floor but suspended in air. His foot constantly searched for purchase on something but gained no feedback.

The nothingness observed him fidgeting and scanning the area for any stimulation. He reached out felt the lack of resistance like a blade. In a space with no constraints, claustrophobia closed down on him. It clamped his heart and demanded he go outside. There was no place to go to.

After an eternity, it offered him a sound.

A faint scampering of claws began from some indeterminate distant location. He walked. He had only his feet moving forward, step by step, to measure time. Like the movie set, a room emerged from the white with dark blue walls. When he inched into it, the navy exploded outward until the room was all that were was.

Shelves of books lined the wall in front of him. Hardcovers, paperbacks, and every other sort of binding was not satisfied with lining up in neat rows. They formed haphazard stacks and towers on the ground and on top the bookcases.

A figured moved in Yutong’s periphery. Pivoting on his heel, he saw Zhan Yao. The cat formed a solitary existence in the corner. All the lines of his face were drawn up in a frown. The creases deepened as he watched something in the distance.

Glancing over his shoulder, Yutong spotted five mice playing on the opposite end of the room. One nibbled on cheese expanding its chubby cheeks, while two slimmer ones chittered amongst another. A white mouse wrestled with a larger mouse.

Returning to Zhan Yao, Yutong saw Xiao Yao. The kitten didn’t even reach Yutong’s waist. His small mouth drew up in a lopsided frown. Where the Zhan Yao’s lips had been firm, Xiao Yao’s was soft more of a pout than anything. A hint of longing touched his furrow brow and pinched eyes. He stepped out of his corner.

A cat emerged from his shadow. As it crossed the room, Xiao Yao froze. Its inky body slowed. Advancing carefully, it lowered its head. Less than a meter from the mice, it dropped its hindquarters. The cat laid on its front paws. It made itself small and harmless.

The mice scattered. Each mouse jolted and ran at each twitch of the cat’s whiskers and ears except the white mouse.

The white mouse approached, rubbing the length of its body against the cat’s cheek. The mice shouted and gestured for it to run. They exchanged panicked glances even as the cat purred and cuddled with the white mouse.

Drawing their collective courage, the four mice attacked the cat. Poof. The cat vanished in a puff of black smoke.

Yutong watched Xiao Yao’s pout shift into something harder. The kitten retreated into his corner. Dropping to his bottom, Xiao Yao picked up a book. He held it like a shield. His eyes regularly darted across the room before he lifted the book to block more and more of his sight. The cover always drifted down so he could spy the friendly mice until the hardcover fell at his feet.

Pulling in his knees, he became a ball. His hands covered his ears. Kitten curled up in a lonely ball. His tiny feet kicked to push him further and further into the corner. So small and sad, Yutong’s heart ached.

He reached out only for his hand to pass through.

“Kitty, go play with them,” he said, but his orders fell on deaf ears.

Xiao Yao tucked in tighter and tighter on himself.

An arm reached through Yutong’s chest. Looking over his shoulder, he saw an inky cat on Zhao Jue’s shoulders.

Yutong threw his fist, futilely; Xiao Yao peeked at Zhao Jue. His curious eyes darted between the cat and outstretched hand.

Zhao Jue smiled.

Yutong’s heart sank. Standing between the vulnerable kitten and the predatory Zhao Jue, his shouts did nothing. He phased through both Xiao Yao and Zhao Jue.

Xiao Yao pulled himself up by Zhao Jue’s hand. His shadowy cat leapt from the shadows into his shoulder.

Directing Xiao Yao, they walked, hand in hand, out of a door.

Yutong chased after but for every centimeter he advanced the distance between them doubled. The white nothingness stretched its fingers out, cradling the pair in its palms.

Horror erupted from his chest. The branches lacerated his organs as they shot out of his mouth in a plead.

“Xiao Yao, no!”

Xiao Yao continued to fade out of sight.

Zhao Yue paused. Glancing back, he held one finger to his lips and smiled.

Yutong’s heart exploded out his chest. He jolted awake. Emotion blocked his throat. Air came in uneven pants.

But more importantly, he sat up. His mattress absorbed the force of him rocketing up. The blankets were dragged along with him.

Zhan Yao wrinkled his nose. Blindly grasping for blankets, he wriggled closer to Yutong. A full-sized bed was a tad tight for two grown men, but they naturally drew in close at night so it didn't matter.

Yutong released a breath he didn't realize he was holding. Reaching out, his fingers slowed as they closed in on Zhan Yao’s forehead. He froze.

Fingers hovered in the air, centimeters from Zhan Yao. Anxiety locked his muscles. Yutong swallowed. Mentally shoving the ball of tangled emotions down into the pit of his stomach, he closed the gap.

Zhan Yao was warm to the touch. His hair snuck in-between the spaces of curled hand. Running his fingertips gingerly across Zhan Yao’s forehead, Yutong tucked the loose strands behind an ear.

He did not stop. Tracing Zhan Yao from the curve of his ear down a stubble-y cheek to a pointed chin, Yutong reminded himself Zhan Yao was not only real but also at his side. He leaned down. Brushing his lips across Zhan Yao’s crown, he mentally turned over his dream.

He stilled millimeters from Zhan Yao’s nose. Peering at the sleeping cat, he analyzed his memory. He thought quietly, _Zhan Yao would never join Zhao Jue._

Except Zhan Yao had been pushing boundaries more often lately. He had known that his actions might push the suspect over the edge and had done it anyway. How cold he looked when he discovered the suspect walked into incoming traffic stuck with Yutong.

Zhan Yao’s eyes snapped open.

“Fuck, damn mouse, are you trying to give me a heart attack?”

Zhan Yao grabbed Yutong’s shoulder. Shoving, he attempted to direct Yutong back to his side of the bed. Yutong barely rocked.

The cogs of his mind whirled. The white mouse had obviously been him. So, the cat… was that also Zhan Yao or something else. His gut told him it was something important. 

Pushing his back flat to ghetto head board, Zhan Yao asked, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing…” he sighed, rubbing his neck, “I just had a nightmare about you…”

_And Zhao Jue,_ his brain supplement. The image of Zhan Yao and Zhao Jue together with their matching cats worried Yutong on an instinctive level.

He said, “And I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

Zhan Yao’s brows knitted together in concern.

“What was the nightmare, Yutong?” he spoke softly, like a person coaxing a small animal or a doctor comforting new patient.

“You and—” Biting his lips, Yutong felt his throat closing up. Saying his cat’s name in the same sentence as Zhao Jue felt bad. He babbled off the top of his head, “You were trying to get along with the team but failed so you disappeared from my sight forever.”

“That’s a nightmare, childish mouse?” he scoffed, but avoided Yutong’s eyes. 

“Hey.” Yutong clapped Zhan Yao’s shoulder. “I've fed and cared for this housecat for long. Of course, I’ll miss you if you're gone.”

Pulling him into an awkward embrace, he patted between Zhan Yao’s shoulder blades. He said in his mind, _So don't leave me._

_Don't get tempted by all those things Zhao Jue did._ He tapped his palm more forcefully than he needed to. _You can be great without stooping to his level._

“Meddling mouse,” he spat without any venom. His arms gradually founded their way to Yutong’s back. He neither patted or rubbed him comfortingly, but for the touch-averse Zhan Yao he might as well had.

“This is my apartment. If anyone were to leave, it would be you.”

He sounded as small as he looked in Yutong’s dream.

Yutong hugged tighter. Words were Zhan Yao’s expertise. He loved his more physical nature, but he would trade it all for a second to know the kinds of words that would Zhan Yao never sound like that again. Yutong hugged tighter.

“I’m not leaving until you kick me out.”


End file.
